Mario

Did you mean Charles Martinet?

Mario hallucinating riding a dinosaur during a trip. Note that Dino may actually be TJ "Henry" Yoshi in disguise.

“The crawling box intervenes into a pointed musician. Why does a throughput score? Her current ritual poses the latter resemblance. His substance leaks inside an invented poke.”

—Mario, babbling incessantly while on illegal narcotics

Mario M. "Mario" McMario Mario, also known as Mario, Mario Mario, Maroi, Maro and Martin, is an obese, profane, chavvy, homeless drug addict. He is known for breaking into McDonalds at night and eating as much as he can, though he hasn't been caught as of yet.

History

Mario and his brother Luigi were born to a Mrs. Mama Mía and Mr. Papa Pía in a Mushroom Kingdom ghetto on September 11, 1985. Neither paid too much attention to the kids, who were prone to getting into trouble behind their parents' backs.

Luckily for the family, in the 1990s, Mama was somehow hired for a well-paying job. They moved to the suburbs soon after, and the Mario Bros. started going to school, getting a well-rounded education and making plenty of friends, except for Luigi. Years later, however, tragedy would strike when Mario was drafted into the war.

Under the pretense that hallucinogenic Super Mushrooms would enhance their soldiers' senses and combat abilities, the desperate generals essentially drugged Mario into a "superhuman" form, which came with a number of side effects. Mario has been recovering from this overdosing ever since. On the upside, his "firepowers" helped him to defeat the enemy and rescue the princess that was being held hostage.

As Mario literally died during the war, his parents rightfully assumed that he was dead, despite the fact that he suddenly came back to life immediately after. His family had become refugees in the meantime, moving to Sarasaland. Mario would not be reunited with them for many decades. He now lives as a hobo who sits outside McDonalds, breaking in at night to steal their food as it is his only form of sustenance left and seems to be replacing his mushroom addiction.

Family

• Luigi, his brother
• Princess Peach, his girlfriend
• Princess Daisy, the one he actually has a crush on despite him dating Peach and her dating Luigi
• Jimmy Savile
• Weegee
• Burazā, his long lost brother